A half unpacked market bag with vegetables, bread and herbs on a bright kitchen counter, a phone left face down beside the keys, an ordinary day being lived again after limerence.

Is There a Journal for Limerence and Unrequited Love?

Limerence · Unrequited Love · Guided Journaling

Yes, but it should not start from the assumption that you want out.

By Simone Pleifer · September 2026 · 7 min read

Simone Pleifer

Founder of Journals by Simone. MSc in Nutritional Sciences. Over 14 years in clinical research in the pharmaceutical industry. Developer of the four-step method behind the Emotional Clarity Journey, written for people carrying secret love, situationships and unspoken feelings.

In short

Yes. Writing the Unspoken is a guided eBook written for limerence, secret love and situationships, and the Love in Secrecy Journal holds the same feelings across ninety days. Limerence runs on uncertainty, so a journal for it has to do one thing above all: help you tell what actually happened apart from what you hoped it meant.

If you have searched for a limerence journal, you have probably found two kinds of results. Printable worksheets that fit on a single page, and workbooks built around a program for getting over someone as quickly as possible.

Both have their place. Neither fits the person who is still in the middle of it, who thinks about one person more hours a day than they would admit to anyone, and who has not decided anything yet. That person is who this article, and the journals behind it, are for.


Is there a journal for limerence?

Yes. Writing the Unspoken from Journals by Simone is a 54-page guided eBook for limerence, secret love and situationships, with eight short chapters, seven reflection prompts and three unsent letters. For a daily writing practice, the Love in Secrecy Journal and its Midnight Edition hold the same feelings across ninety days.

Writing the Unspoken is the one I would point you to first. It draws on Dorothy Tennov's original research on limerence and James Pennebaker's work on expressive writing, and it pairs each short reading with prompts that give the feeling a structured place to exist.

What it does not do is push you toward no contact or tell you what the feeling means. Most limerence material starts from the assumption that you want out. Writing the Unspoken starts from where you actually are, and if you want a refresher on the term itself, I wrote a separate guide to what limerence is and what helps.


Why does limerence need a different kind of journal?

Because limerence is fuelled by uncertainty. Psychologist Dorothy Tennov, who coined the term in 1979, described it as involuntary, intrusive longing for one person that intensifies when you cannot tell whether the feeling is returned. An ordinary diary records that uncertainty. A journal for limerence has to help you examine it.

Think about what a normal entry looks like on a limerent day. You write down the message, the glance, the thing they said in passing, and then you write down what it might mean. By the end of the page, the interpretation has quietly become the fact.

That is not a failing of yours. It is how hope works when it has very little to go on. Every small signal gets read with great care, because each one might be the answer. A diary simply collects those readings, and without meaning to, it can make the loop tighter.

Research Fisher, H.E. et al. (2010, Journal of Neurophysiology, 104(1), 51–60): 15 people who had recently been rejected but reported still being intensely in love viewed photographs of the person who rejected them. Brain regions linked to reward, craving and emotion regulation were active, which the authors suggest may help explain the obsessive quality of rejection in love.

In other words, the pull you feel is not a sign that you are weak or foolish. It involves the same reward systems that are active in happy, mutual love. What changes the experience is not willpower, but how clearly you can see what you are actually responding to.


What should a limerence journal ask you?

A useful limerence journal asks three kinds of questions: what actually happened, stripped of interpretation; what you hoped it meant, written down separately; and what you need, regardless of what the other person does. Over weeks, the gap between the first two lists usually becomes the most revealing page in the journal.

Here is how those three questions look in practice. You can try them tonight, in any notebook or app.

What happened, as a camera would have seen it

Write the event without adjectives or guesses. They replied after four hours. They mentioned the weekend. That is all. It feels strangely flat, and that flatness is the point.

What I hoped it meant

Now write the interpretation, fully and honestly, on its own line. They were thinking about me. They were hinting at something. Giving the hope its own space is not the same as believing it, and seeing it written next to the facts often changes how large it feels.

What I need, whatever they do

This is the hardest question and the most important one. Rest, reassurance, a quieter evening, a friend who does not need the full story. Limerence tends to route every need through one person. This question gently routes some of them back to you.

Research Lieberman, M.D. et al. (2007, Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428): putting feelings into words was associated with reduced amygdala response to negative emotional images. Naming what you feel, precisely and on paper, is an active step rather than a passive record.

Writing the Unspoken or the Love in Secrecy Journal?

Choose Writing the Unspoken if you want to understand limerence first and write in shorter, guided sittings. Choose the Love in Secrecy Journal for a daily practice over ninety days, or the Midnight Edition if you want to track your mood and watch how hope rises and falls from week to week.
Writing the Unspoken Love in Secrecy Journal Midnight Edition
Format 54-page guided eBook 90-day guided journal 90-day structured journal
How you use it Read a chapter, then write to its prompts Three open questions a day Mood check-in and four focused prompts a day
Best for Understanding the feeling and naming it Writing freely over a longer stretch Seeing patterns in how hope moves
Delivery Instant PDF, for GoodNotes, Notability or home printing

The two work well together. The eBook gives the feeling a framework, and the Love in Secrecy Journal gives you somewhere to return every day while that framework settles.

"Giving the hope its own line on the page is not the same as believing it. It is how you finally get to look at it."

Simone Pleifer · Journals by Simone

Is journaling enough on its own?

Sometimes it is, and sometimes it is one part of the support you need. A journal can help you see the pattern clearly and carry it with more steadiness. If limerence has lasted for a long time and affects your sleep, your work or your other relationships, it belongs with a qualified professional as well.

I say this plainly because it matters. A guided journal is a reflection tool, not therapy, and it should never be sold as a replacement for it. The two can sit side by side, and writing can make the conversations in a therapist's room more precise.

What a journal offers that little else does is privacy on your own schedule. It is there at two in the morning, when the thoughts are loudest and nobody else is awake. For that particular hour, I also wrote a guide on how to stop the 2am thought loop.


Frequently asked questions

Is there a journal for limerence?

Yes. Writing the Unspoken from Journals by Simone is a 54-page guided eBook written for limerence, secret love and situationships, with seven reflection prompts and three unsent letters. For a daily practice over ninety days, the Love in Secrecy Journal and its Midnight Edition cover the same feelings.

Can journaling stop limerence?

No journal can switch a feeling off, and any product that promises that is overselling. What structured writing can do is help you see the pattern more clearly: what feeds the hope, what the evidence actually shows, and what you need regardless of the other person.

Is a limerence journal the same as an unrequited love journal?

They overlap. Limerence, a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979, describes intense, involuntary longing fuelled by uncertainty about whether the feeling is returned. Unrequited love is the wider situation. The same prompts help with both, because both live on hope and interpretation.

Do I have to want to get over the person to use it?

No. Writing the Unspoken and the Love in Secrecy journals start from the feeling as it is, not from a goal of no contact or moving on. You do not need to have decided anything to begin. Clarity usually comes before the decision, not after it.

When is limerence something to take to a professional?

When it has lasted a long time and affects your sleep, your work or your other relationships, or when the thoughts feel impossible to step away from. A journal can sit alongside therapy, but it does not replace support from a qualified professional.


Where to start

  1. Writing the Unspoken, the guided eBook for limerence and secret love, with seven prompts and three unsent letters.
  2. Love in Secrecy Journal, ninety days of open writing for the same feelings.
  3. Love in Secrecy Midnight Edition, ninety days with a daily mood check-in, for seeing how hope moves over time.
  4. The first 7 days of the Emotional Clarity Calendar, free, if you want to try guided writing before choosing anything.

Limerence asks you to read every signal from one person with enormous care. A good journal asks you to read yourself with the same care, and that is usually where the clarity comes from.

Sources

  • Tennov, D. (1979). Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. New York: Stein and Day.
  • Fisher, H.E., Brown, L.L., Aron, A., Strong, G. and Mashek, D. (2010). Reward, addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 104(1), 51–60. doi.org/10.1152/jn.00784.2009 (PubMed 20445032, verified 19 September 2026)
  • Aron, A., Fisher, H., Mashek, D.J., Strong, G., Li, H. and Brown, L.L. (2005). Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 94(1), 327–337. doi.org/10.1152/jn.00838.2004 (PubMed 15928068, verified 19 September 2026)
  • Lieberman, M.D., Eisenberger, N.I., Crockett, M.J., Tom, S.M., Pfeifer, J.H. and Way, B.M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428. doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x (PubMed 17576282, verified 19 September 2026)

Simone Pleifer, MSc

Simone Pleifer, MSc, is the founder of Journals by Simone and the creator of the Emotional Clarity Journey system. She holds an MSc in Nutritional Science and has 14 years of experience in pharmaceutical clinical research. Her work bridges scientific rigour and emotional depth for people navigating secret love, situationships, and unspoken feelings. She is currently developing a supplement line to complement the ECJ system.

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